Deeper and Deeper

Me being all melancholy n alienated n stuff

Thanks for coming back, or hiya if you're here for the first time.

A Boring Personal Recap

I'm working my way through my thoughts, feelings and politics about our Scottish independence referendum. I'm barely started in trying to piece together anything like a consistent ground for my definite Yes vote but as I fumble my thoughts into some sort of rational order I am becoming more aware that we should all be doing something of this nature. 

No I am not a saint or guru leading the way to the promised land Don't follow me for heaven's sakes (well follow me here and on twitter but spare yourself in a spiritual sense). All I'm reflecting is that to find my rational choice, rather than the emotive one I feel guilty about, I need a better political education/consciousness to underpin reason. 

As ever, bear with me.

Back to My "Issues"

If I am going to justify to myself that I want a new nation-state of Scotland (it's currently a stateless nation) then I really do have to be sure that the existing nation-state of the UK isn't usefully salvageable - it's not, I'm sure of this, but need self-assurance I am not delusional. 

"I'd be voting Yes because it's got some hope about it"

That's me on an imaginary psychotherapists couch talking about my Indyref vote.

"because it's beyond f...ed. I can't see a way to save it without more pain for the most vulnerable. In fact I feel utterly powerless to do anything about it."

That's me telling my inner therapist the essence of why I can't stay with the nation-state arrangements of the United Kingdom. I did say I was not the full shilling didn't I? No? Oh well. Back to the angst...

There's so much I am horrified, angry, concerned and powerless about. I'm not alone, I know it fine. Here's something from one of the finest speeches ever passionately spoken, forty years old and achingly relevant right now:

Alienation is the precise and correctly applied word for describing the major social problem in Britain today. People feel alienated by society. In some intellectual circles it is treated almost as a new phenomenon. It has, however, been with us for years. What I believe is true is that today it is more widespread, more pervasive than ever before. Let me right at the outset define what I mean by alienation. It is the cry of men who feel themselves the victims of blind economic forces beyond their control. It's the frustration of ordinary people excluded from the processes of decision-making. The feeling of despair and hopelessness that pervades people who feel with justification that they have no real say in shaping or determining their own destinies. Jimmy Reid - A working Class Heroes Finest Speech

I'm tempted to go into my "Ed Miliband, Ed f...ing Miliband" schtick and rail against the poverty of decent options. See my earlier posts for that stuff though. It's this, when Jimmy says this:

"The feeling of despair and hopelessness that pervades people who feel with justification that they have no real say in shaping or determining their own destinies"

God, that gets me deep. That's me that is, and surely so many of you too. I've got to hope so or I'll be hopelessly alone in my horror at the way our world is. Right, here's my deal then, I need to be personally committed and trusting of the assertion that my alienation and anger can't be sorted by UK wide reform, beyond the gut feeling response of "it just bloody can't!".


Confessions of a Selfish Fool

"I just can't. If you're saying to me to wait, and achieve my goals by working within the Labour movement and Labour party to achieve broad social and economic reform then I fear I might have to tell you to f..k right off and awaken yourself to some harsh realities"

That's me responding to my inner therapist asking me to consider a reformist route within the UK - I fear he may have referred me on after this session, poor soul. It's familiar stuff for anyone who's read my previous dribblings I've been round that roundabout a few times now though. I need to get past it. Why can't I trust or hope for Labour renewals? Let's go there a bit more.

I was in the Labour Party for a while in the 90's. Donald Dewar's constituency. Steven Purcell was the branch chair, lovely bloke and I have huge sympathy for his path and difficulties of recent years despite not being in touch since those 90s days - side avenue though, sorry. 

I think I left because I wanted to talk about politics, ideas, society, and what we usually talked about was anything but - party machinations, internal stuff or even worse, deliberately avoiding having a debate by using a technical point. That's what happened when I turned up with "Clause 4" on the back of my membership card and instead of us debating whether the party should bin this historic commitment to some sort of socialist ideal the discussion was held till the next meeting (after the Clause 4 vote) because a member of decades standing had "never heard of Clause 4 and needed time to find out more about it before a proper discussion". Aye right. Pure mince so it was.

That's a petty wee insight and reflection on a personal experience. I know that. It doesn't capture lots of good things about those days and the Labour party, not least the comradeship. However, I do think it represents a tiny microcosm of a bigger picture. The Labour party in the 90s weren't interested in fostering debate, they were interesting in reshaping themselves to be palatable to the electorate and keen to ditch ideas, principles and any other "baggage" needed to become electable. I don't think that's a controversial reading of party history and I am happy to be contradicted, fire in! 

If I move on though then the loss of principle, sidelining of debate, centralisation of party power away from the control of "the movement" etc. brings me back to this place:

"The feeling of despair and hopelessness that pervades people who feel with justification that they have no real say in shaping or determining their own destinies" Jimmy Reid

As I say, I am happy to argue the toss with anyone who wants to, but that's my personal experience and perspective on where I stand in relation to my one real hope in UK politics. So it strikes me that I feel EXACTLY the same way about the Labour party as I do about the problems of the UK state. I am deeply and completely alienated from it and by it. It doesn't feel like my party, doesn't speak for my hopes and can't empower my voice. In fact it denies me all of those things.

Other folk will be alienated in different ways. Their loyalties and histories will be theirs, not mine. Their analysis will be different, but I am convinced that they'll not find a sense of connectedness and humanity that dissipates their alienation in any Westminster party. That's why I see no hope there. 

I'm still voting Yes because like Jimmy Reid and so many others too, I am of a mind that the best way to lose my alienation, anomie or pissed-offness is to stop being part of the "rat race" - it's for rats, not humans. For me, the Labour Party and the parliament it sits in in Westminster have become utterly co-opted by that rat race. They are part of what alienates and de-humanises me and us. Their politics, policies and ambitions are part of the thing that makes me angry and us all ill as a society. I can't place my trust for us re-humanising our political world in Labour or any Westminster parliamentary party. It turns out they're the source of my despair at our inhuman society. 

Still thinking, stay tuned

Stevie

P.S. of course I'll address the "but Scotland won't solve all those problems Stevie" stuff. Gimme a break you slave-drivers